Maxwell Smart in Franchising

Posted Wed, 2005/09/28 - 20:51 by Bob Frankman

Agent 86 aka Maxwell Smart, or in real life Don Adams, passed away on September 25, 2005 at the age of 82. I don’t know how many of you out there grew up on the the Get Smart television show, but I did. It is my opinion that the writers must have had their day jobs in franchising while they were getting established in Hollywood and it was with us that they received their great organizational insights into what not to do.

86: Chief I think we need to use the cone of silence.
CHIEF: Not the cone of silence Max.
86: It's the rules Chief.
CHIEF: Very well Max, the cone of silence...

THE FRANCHISE CONE OF SILENCE RULE. In running a franchise, we know sometimes field reps visit with a dogged determination to adhere to the equivalent of the CONE OF SILENCE RULE in the system operations handbook, even when certain markets or situations make it a silly one. We follow it simply because it’s the RULE. The funny thing about the cone of silence was that noise levels were reversed. You could clearly hear the outside noise but not each other. This is also a good principle for franchisees. It is often best to hear the outside customer's noise telling you what to do over the shouts of your field rep screaming what to do. The field rep can be clueless.

THE “WOULD YOU BELIEVE” REPLY
Faversham: You think you've got me, but I have you surrounded by the entire mounted 17th Bengal Lancers.
Khan: I don't believe you.
Faversham: Would you believe the First Bengal Lancers?
Khan: No
Faversham: How about Gunga Din on a donkey?

This is a useful phrase when you get caught by your customer for non-compliance of his order. It sometimes can get the franchise out of a tight spot. One could say, “Would you believe that this Filet-O-Fish looking sandwich is actually what Big Macs look like when they are cooked to perfection?” “No”, “How about the new and improved Kosher Mac?”

I am certain that the phrases below that Max used so much were picked right out of franchising. These are very useful to remember in tough situations.

Max: (After his first day at a dry-cleaning service in which he burnt a customer’s suit to a bacon crispy black and shrunk it to the size of a Ken doll) "Sorry about that, Chief."
Customer: "Now listen carefully, I want a ham & turkey on wheat, hold the pickles and the lettuce, onions, cucumber, no jalapenos, add banana pepper, salt, pepper and deli mustard on top, did you get that?" Max: "Not all of it." Chief: "Which part didn't you get?" Max: "The part after 'Now listen carefully'."
Customer: “I told you that the company name on these 10,000 cards is Dark Company, not Dork Company. Max: "Missed it by that much." I'll tell you what. I'll take 10 cents off the bill.
Max: "That's the second biggest belly I've ever seen. You must eat here a lot."
Chief/99/somebody else: "Max, you'll be in red ink for years, have no outside life, lose your wife, sleep in your shop, and be robbed once in a while running your franchise!" Max: "...and loving it!"