Log In / Register | May 23, 2012

Christmas Week 2050

SPOOFTON - This Christmas week there are no meek left to inherit the earth. They have all been eaten by others of inestimable worth.

Stupid Public Policy - Politically Correct Waste

Politically correct terrible public policy is expensive and destructive.

The Impact on Franchising in Allowing Evolution To Be Taught In Public Schools

Texas culture is rapidly outpacing that of the rest of the United States, because “Just Say No” isn't working as the method of choice in reducing juvenile sex.

They Call Me Gunnar Lee

I do not intend to allow life to pass me by.

Representing Celebrity Clients, Get the Money in Front

Over the years I have moved from envy of lawyers who represent, and can brag about being the lawyers for, celebrity clients, to happiness that I rarely represent celebrity clients.

One Mean Nasty Sumbitch

There are people so nasty and mean spirited that the only time they experience happiness is when they observe someone else in misery.

I Can Do This Because It says So Right Here In My Contract

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And did you really think it was just about selling nice little sandwiches?

Flu Shots and Franchises

Da Flu is on its way, cried Chicken Little. Da Flu is on its way, and it’s coming right here, and we’re all gonna be sick and die!

Yes, my friends, Chicken Little is right. Da Flu really is on the wing. Some of us will die from Da Flu, mostly folks who are about to die anyway from one thing or another.

What we have here is hysteria. The Flu hysteria is deliberately encouraged. It is deliberately encouraged by whom? Look who will profit from the hysteria and you will easily see who is encouraging it. DUH!

An Autobiographical Poem of a Franchisor's Daughter

"Blue Mau Mau people called her names. Signowsky couldn’t extinguish the flames."

Lansing Lil was a school marm till she went west.

That’s where she decided she liked screwin franchisees best. When she did it, she screwed for keeps, and piled her victims round in heaps.

Till one day down from Bar’s Ass Creek, came a hairy dude named The Assistant Attorney General of Illinois.

He slapped his stuff upon the bar, and by God it smelled from here to thar. All the lawyers from here to hell couldn’t wash away that awful smell.

Why Jerks Retire Rich

The Lord Was Generous to Old Bob, the Franchisor 

Old Bob had a favorite saying. He used it every time he had a chance. No matter the context, his ultimate pronouncement about any slip or miscalculation was that it was the work of a liar, and he just hated liars.