Forget College, Buy Your Kid a Franchise

Wise Up! Skip College. Buy a Franchise!

 College costs are soaring.  The cost of a four-year college degree ranges from $51,184 at a mediocre public university to $121, 468 at an overpriced private college to $175,920 at the snotty elite colleges of people we resent.  And these figures don't include four years of lost wages, murdered brain cells and outside expenses such a pizza, beer, paraphernalia and disorderly conduct fines.

Shouldn't someone expose the hoax that higher education and college students are perpetrating on the parents and taxpayers of America?  Shouldn't someone inform them that a far better investment of the same money would be a 7-day $449 Internet diploma and a franchise?

Well, finally someone has. I don’t want to imply that college is a waste of time, money and brain cells, so I’ll state it: College is a waste of time, money and brain cells.

I know. I went to college (7 of the best years of my life).

When I graduated with my English degree, the business world threw a HUGE welcome party for me and rewarded my educational accomplishments with a lucrative position in Combustible Timber Logistics (or firewood delivery, for you non-grads). Pursuing my dream of complete unemployability, I returned for my Masters degree, and even stayed on to teach for a few years. Eventually, they forcibly ejected me through the ivy-covered doors to accept the fate of all college grads: a job completely unrelated to my field of study in a company whose owner dropped out halfway through 7th grade.

But don’t college graduates have much higher incomes than non-graduates?
Sure. Just ask the clerk at That Fish Place next time you’re buying goldfish for your pet piranha. He’ll tell you how he thanks his lucky stars every day for his PhD in Marine Biology.

Or ask those unfortunates who have had to struggle through life without college degrees. Poor Bill Gates ($56 bil), Paul Allen ($18 bil), Michael Dell ($15 bil) & Larry Ellison ($21 billion)… think of what they could have achieved had they finished college! Such a waste! It’s reported that billionaire John Simplot (3 bil), inventor of the French Fry, felt quite inferior around the liberal arts graduates who manned his deep fryers or who so articulately asked the customers “Would you like fries with that?”

College Diplomas:  Worst.  Investment.  Ever.
According to The College Board’s annual report, "Trends in College Pricing", the total college costs...  Continue Reading.