Habits

It’s been many years now, more than I care to remember, since Stephen Covey introduced his “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”  It has since become a classic must read, and read again and again.  In fact it has been named as one of the top 10 most influential management books ever written. 

The 5th of those 7 (original) habits was “Seek First to Understand”.  Most people (including myself) usually get this in reverse and Seek First to be Understood”.  The opportunity for meaningful movement in a positive direction is so often lost by 2 people both trying to be understood.  When this happens Listening, Learning, Cooperation all seem to go out the window. 

Recent topics here at Bluemauamu is an example of this.  And no sooner than did the facts begin to emerge that someone then began to attack again, but on a totally different point.  A point which had they simply looked up the statute, they may not have made the statements which they made. 

I often speak of the words of wisdom which my grandfather shared with me, but today I’ll share a little wisdom from my grandmother, she often said “Hurting People, do hurtful things”.  When we feel that someone has done us an injustice, it’s normal to want to lash out.  Believe me that in my time, there’s been more than one person whom I’ve wanted to reach out and just choke the living %^@! out of, but I haven’t.  That’s called restraint and what keeps most of us from ending up on death row.  I’m not an attorney, but common sense tells us that the real difference in defamation is UNDERSTANDING THE FACTS.  It’s not defamation, if it’s true.  The key to finding truth is in understanding.

Franchisors and franchisees should look for truth, through understanding the situation completely from the others perspective.  I’ve learned that even the most outrageous lies often have a small thread of truth to them.  When the franchisee says, my failure is the result of this or that…there’s usually some truth in the statements.  Just as there is when the franchisor says the reason the franchisee failed is because of this-that- or the other, there’s usually also truth in that as well.  The key to building relationships is finding the truth.  Understanding the truth, and understanding from the others view point.

Joe Mathews challenged us all to raise the level of conversation here at Blue Maumau, and as I recall Les Stewart seconded Joe’s suggestion.  With the ups and downs of the board lately, some of that may have been lost, I don’t know.  But anyway, regardless of where we’re at, where we’re going, or why we feel the way we do, there’s an opportunity for all of us to learn from each other, and it begins with UNDERSTANDING and thinking along the lines of habit #4 which is Think Win Win, and of course personally I like habit #6 Synergize!

Please join in the new forum I started Franchisee – Franchisor Relations, and share your ideas in how these relationships can be built, strengthened and maintained.  Until then…