Local Idiot To Post Comment On Internet

HAZEL PARK, MI (The Onion) - Local idiot Brandon Mylenek announced that he will post an idiotic comment on the Internet at 2:30 a.m. tonight. Journalists from The Onion, record Mylenek saying:

"I intend to . . . click the 'reply' link above the box reserved for user comments, and draft a response, being careful to put as little thought into it as possible, while making sure to use all capital letters and incorrect punctuation," Mylenek said. "Although I do not yet know exactly what my comment will entail, I can say with a great degree of certainty that it will be incredibly stupid."

Mylenek assures that his comment would be misspelled to the point of incomprehension and that it would defy the laws of both logic and grammar. He also promises in post to:

". . . become incensed at the quality and sentiment of the comments already posted below —which will include such replies as "not great, nice try tho," "FIRSTIES!!!" and "wtf?? lol so random." At this point, Mylenek said, he will feel a deep, unwavering desire to offer a dissenting opinion, which he has hinted will include the words "gay" and "reatrd" [sic].

Logging in with the pseudonym TUFFLuvto20, Mylenek expects his Internet post to generate oodles of responses. The speedy writer is very bullish on the promise of the increasingly open format of newspaper sites and specialized forums. Mylenek declares, "What better way to take advantage of this incredible technology than to log onto the Internet and insult a complete stranger?"

Mylenek thinks that there are many other styles of posting comments besides his that work just as effectively. "There's this older lady KarenX that writes the same thought on every place of the site that allows a comment," he observes. "She's awesome!"