Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. provides his picks for the Best of the Worst new franchise opportunities. Quick's FranWorst.com website celebrates the many advantages of investing in the worst franchise opportunities, including lower fees, universal availability, and the absence of cumbersome rules and quality control.  And because you know it's bad, there's no need to waste money to have a lawyer tell you so.

According to the Small Business Administration (SBA), 63% of independent business start-ups fail in the first year and the remaining 37% suffer agonizing, publicly humiliating failures in year 2.  Conversely, the US Dept. of Commerce reports that buying a franchise not provides a 100% chance of success, it also reverses the aging process* and bestows a choice of super powers** upon franchisees.

"Since the statistics show that all franchises are successful," contends beloved and trusted millionaire Richard Quick, Esq., "There's no need to pay a premium for the best, or even good, franchise opportunities."

So what are some of Quick's picks for Best of the Worst franchise opportunities?

#1  “Eternal Ascent” Cremains Dispersal

Our big red balloon will send Uncle Charlie to heaven and his ashes to God knows where.

#2  Enviro-Ad Environmental Product Placement

One man's litter is another man's gold mine.

#3  Wiznos Free Subs

How can we make money giving away our food for free?  Volume!

#4  Michael Phelps' BUDWAY

Endorsed by Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, this budding franchise provides the best bong for your buck.

#5  BUDGET BRIDES: Love 4 Less!

Matching bachelors on a budget with eligible women from the Poland, USSR, Singapore, Zimbabwe, Muscle Shoals and even worse places.

#6  iSTOLE It

iSTOLE It combines the selling power of eBay auctions with our unique, no-cost inventory acquisition system.

#7  LOOK RICH QUICK! The Franchise

Your neighbors no longer have to look poor, just because they are.

#8  STARBUSKJ Cofe ‘N’ ROP (video)

STARBUSKJ Cofe ‘N’ ROP is favorite franchise of the late EXILED ex-president Baduchka and the only Slovenian coffee and rope shop to give free monkeyfist with every order! (So, if you have something you need to tie, or if you are a sleepy guy: STARBUSKJ Cofe ‘N’ Rop!)

#9  Pruno Prison Wine

Ranked one of the top 10 prison-based franchises

#10 Meal Assembly & Botox Kitchen Franchise

Make & Fake Gourmet combines the appeal of paying hundreds of dollars to prepare ones own meals, with the booming demand for facial botox injections.

#11  Richard Quick’s GRATE FUN! Adventure Park

An exciting development with QuickCo's partnership with the People's Republic of China.  Co-branded with QuickCo’s DEEP DISCOUNT TOYS! from China and with QuickCo’s ChineseBaby.Com affiliate program.

A Message from Richard Quick, Esq.

What is Success?  A letter from our President, Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq.

* If you experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, consult your physician.

** Super power choices include ability to fly or make yourself invisible