The Franwad Manifesto: The Long March Continues

Submitted by RichardSolomon on Sun, 2008/08/03 - 08:48.

At approximately 5 pm on Friday, 1st August, at the lovely turn of the century Dearborn Inn in a suburb of Detroit, a nine hour non stop meeting took place amongst Paul Steinberg, Mike Webster and Richard Solomon, attending as Seamus Muldoon. We met to discuss the prospective feasibility of the Franchise Killer Pre-Investment Due Diligence Academy (The FKPIDDA – The Farkapaedia).

Throughout the nine hour session, there was never any dead air. If you stopped talking to breathe, you lost your position, as someone else immediately started speaking, having been holding his breath waiting until you had to inhale.

Amidst the serious analytical conversational bytes there was a great deal of humor. The topics of these relaxing interludes included acerbic ridicule of those who were absent, the manner in which Dale Nabors configured his position in the Cuppy’s abortion, the recent AAFD award of encomia thereto, the last eight years of the Bush administration, and the religious beliefs of everyone other than the discussants.

The most immediate impact resulting from this meeting will be shown on the next quarterly financial report of the Stags Leap Winery.

The only person whose absence was sorely regretted was Sean Kelly. We really didn’t need the rest of you at all.

The result of the meeting

Happily, the result of the meeting was a continuing interest in the development of the Farkapaedia. Its functional potential was confirmed in everyone’s mind, and the requisite financial resources are believed potentially to be available. The UPL difficulties were resolved. Its possible sponsorship by BlueMauMau was discussed and left open, as Mr. BMM his own self was not there to confirm the availability of cojones on that issue.

Conclusion

The meeting adjourned promptly at 2 am on Saturday, 2nd August. It will reconvene when certain issues are closer to resolution and the tab for this first meeting is finally paid off.

Average: 5 (1 vote)

Tags:

There are no tags.
»

Disappointed!

Submitted by Mark Dubinsky on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 13:15.

That you esteemed gentlemen did not invite me to your FKPIDDA Gala disappoints me greatly. There are few things I appreciate more than cyclones of franchise related hot wind, particularly when accompanied by excessive volumes of high-quality alcohol.  

Please be sure to invite me the next time you assemble. I am sure I can add much to the discussion, as well as to the cache of "liquid assets". I have a few bottles of Harlan Estate, Screaming Eagle, Ridge Monte Bello, etc. that all need opening by those who would appreciate their exceptional qualities.  If the conversation were to get really intense, I would need to break open my private reserve of 23-year old Pappy Van Winkle's Bourbon!  That famed elixir can change your life (if not end it prematurely)!

-- Mark

_______________________________________________________________

Mark Dubinsky is president of the DD Independent Franchise Owners, Inc. (DDIFO), a franchisee association representing in excess of 1,700 member Dunkin' Donuts franchises. Mark is a former franchisee and CEO of his family's 27-unit Dunkin Donuts Network. He can be reached at mark@ddifo.org.

Franchise Investigations

Submitted by michael webster on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 11:11.

We will soon have minutes of this meeting, and our overall methods and goals.

Richard and Paul sparred about Zarco's case against Bodorian, but we all agreed that with more franchise preparation companies, templates, and public access, it gets harder to tell from a paper review of the documents what is legitimate and what has been simply lifted from a legitimate business.

Investigations are getting harder and not easier with public access. 

One problem we face is turning around the investigation process so that prospects do not try to use our services just before closing.

We have to make the point that: Pre-purchase investigation not only teaches you about the actual franchise you are interested in, but franchising traps in general.

For example, Richard brought up an interesting case in which a) the franchisee sold contracts to customers that had a monthly incurring revenue, but b) the franchisor "collected and remitted" that revenue.  Strangely enough, the top franchisee in that system hasn't seen any residuals!

This type of collection scheme deserves a;

You might be a Franwad, if you let your franchisor collect all your money and have to ask "please, sir, may I have some more?"
You just might be a Franwad, if your franchisor can scoop your bank account. 

 

The next meeting, unfortunately for my wine budget, may be in Toronto.

It will be hard to match Richard's pillaging of the local wine cellars - but I understand that the founders of any joint endeavor are to expected to contribute excess liquid capital.

Michael Webster PhD LLB
Franchise News

Michael is right about a lot of things,

Submitted by RichardSolomon on Tue, 2008/08/05 - 05:20.

but his most important point - which he first raised at our meeting - is that franchise investors need to become educated about the facts on the ground and what they have to do to avoid being fleeced by the scoundrels.

The point to be made in that education is that it is critically important that you avoid being cheated of all you own in the world rather than being cheated and spending the rest of yout life impotently trying to get back to scratch.

Everyone in here who laments how they were treated in making the wrong investment and ending up broke faces exactly that predicament.

There is no real remedy when you are broke, 99 % of the time.

We will, if we can make this concept work, be able to keep our trainees from getting fleeced. They will keep their money in their own pocckets rather than invest in any offer that can't get past our guerilla due diligence. --

Richard Solomon, FranchiseRemedies.com,  has over 45 years experience with franchise litigation and crisis management. He is a graduate of The Citadel and The University of Michigan Law School

If we next meet in Santa Fe, NM,

Submitted by RichardSolomon on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 11:31.

I will be happy to host the evening again.

Between the Georgia O'Keefe Museo and any number of great restautrants, the meeting should last at least two days - arrive mid afternoon and depart two days later. YUM!

You guys invest in yout airfare and hotels, and I'll handle the food and wine/tequila/etc.

The level of perspicacity was exceeded only by the incredibly wonderful company of two really nice guys.

It is, however, unfortunate that now - three days later - they still aren't spelling that well.--

Richard Solomon, FranchiseRemedies.com,  has over 45 years experience with franchise litigation and crisis management. He is a graduate of The Citadel and The University of Michigan Law School

Bane of My Existence

Submitted by michael webster on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 13:31.

Richard, you have yourself a deal.  New Mexico it is.

Never could spell that well - really have no excuse for it, either. 

Michael Webster PhD LLB
Franchise News

Did not want to bring it up at first

Submitted by Bubba Sparky on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 13:45.

but now that it is out in the open, I have noticed your tendency to misspell frequently as well, primarily the words "defense," "color," "license," "center," and "check."  Do not even get me started on aluminum. 

Bad Spelling

Submitted by michael webster on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 18:45.

Wait minute - didn't your elected King spell potato, "potatoe"?  What is a few vowels among countries with the longest undefended border and the longest wait to cross the aforesaid undefended border? 

Michael Webster PhD LLB
Franchise News

Re: Bad Spelling

Submitted by Guest on Tue, 2008/08/05 - 03:47.

Actually, that was a former vice president. The current reigning king probably isn't a spelling bee champ.

It was a joke, Michael

Submitted by RichardSolomon on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 23:22.

Thanks for referring to my theory that the USA can survive no matter who is in charge--

Richard Solomon, FranchiseRemedies.com,  has over 45 years experience with franchise litigation and crisis management. He is a graduate of The Citadel and The University of Michigan Law School

I think we should get the

Submitted by FuwaFuwaUsagi on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 20:45.

I think we should get the definitive spelling from SpuddiePie.  Where is he anyway?  How is his lame concept doing these days?  And when is he releasing his tell-all on Solomon?

FuwaFuwaUsagi

ACH debit by zor

Submitted by Paul Steinberg on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 11:18.

Webster writes: It will be hard to match Richard's pillaging of the local wine cellars - but I understand that the founders of any joint endeavor are to expected to contribute excess liquid capital.

I was at a disadvantage. My relatives came from Beer Country, though they did have a propensity to get soused and invade France.

On a serious note: most of the large zors do scoop the zee bank account, and my suggestion to people in such cases is that they have a segregated account for the required zor ACH debits. That way, even if there are improper/disputed zor debits, it will not cause you to bounce checks to your vendors/landlord/employees/ect.

 

Paul Steinberg
Franchisee Attorney, New York City, Ph: 212-529-5400

Segregated Operational Accounts

Submitted by michael webster on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 11:28.

Paul, I have no problems with having 2 or 3 chequing accounts.  But, a number of franchise agreement forbid this, and try to pull everything they can at the end of the day.

The residual story that Richard told is even a worse trick. 

Michael Webster PhD LLB
Franchise News

Segregated accounts

Submitted by Paul Steinberg on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 12:05.

I hadn't seen a Franchise Agreement which prohibited this, and I can't see why they would.

I recommend a deposit account (into which all the money goes). Then journal (online) the appropriate royalty/advertising monies, journal the payroll, and journal the rest into the disbursement account. Where sales tax trust funds are high (in my jurisdiction 8.375%) I suggest a savings account and issue a bank check/MO when the funds need to be remitted quarterly.

You don't want your employee payroll checks to have your disbursement or deposit account number on them because nowadays if employees have this info they can cause much mischief before you find out. Better to have a separate payroll account. 

Paul Steinberg
Franchisee Attorney, New York City, Ph: 212-529-5400

Re: Segregated accounts

Submitted by jd on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 12:46.

Gotta agree with Paul on this one. 

From experience on the zor side, we had inadvertently taken too much out via ACH for their royalty payment.  It was a fluke occurence that the person doing the ACH had made the same keying error in the 2 spreadsheets that were the checks and balances that we had in place prior to actually submitting to the bank.  The next day the error was found and was immediately backed out on our side, and the zee was informed.  It was our fault and we covered any bank overdrafts that occured.  There is a human error element to these systems in place.  And for the record we were a smaller zor that didn't have the automation that i'm sure other places had.

Also, I think Paul or Michael mentioned this about a year ago, but if your the gift card program flows through the zees rather than a central account, it's best to have a separate account set-up for that as well. 

Segregated Accounts still big in AL

Submitted by Sean Kelly on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 13:04.

Maybe that's why Dale's moving Cuppy's.

Segregation was always big there, from what I hear. 

 

Sean Kelly
seankelly[at]ideafarm.net

Franchise  Pick
Franchisor Marketing

The only person whose

Submitted by Sean Kelly on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 07:08.

The only person whose absence was sorely regretted was Sean Kelly.

Feel free  to invite me next time.  I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations has run out on all my outstanding MI warrants.

Then again, as the only non-lawyer there I'm sure I'd not only have gotten stuck with the tab, but billed at your customary hourly rates. 

Sean Kelly
seankelly[at]ideafarm.net

Franchise  Pick
Franchisor Marketing

You definitely will be included next time,

Submitted by RichardSolomon on Mon, 2008/08/04 - 07:30.

and I never thought of you as someone who reached for a tab. But that's OK. --

Richard Solomon, FranchiseRemedies.com,  has over 45 years experience with franchise litigation and crisis management. He is a graduate of The Citadel and The University of Michigan Law School

Farkapaedia

Submitted by Do Diligence on Sun, 2008/08/03 - 21:53.

Good luck and I wish you great success in your plans. This may be the beginning of something big. Eventually you can advertise on television about educating people about what to do before signing a FA. Why not? Donald Trump and Robert Kiyasaki advertises their seminars. Maybe Solomon can do the advertising with his Texas accent. He sounds good on the telephone.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
    Syndicate content