While Negotiating, Listen Before You Speak

A veteran entrepreneur and co-author of The Knack, Norm Brodsky, tells this story about listening before you speak in negotiating. Don't assume what the other guy is thinking. Brodsky tells of how he had a 9:30 a.m. appointment to negotiate and renew a contract with one of his toughest attorney clients the next day. So he asked his moving servicemen to be extra careful in their moving of one of his attorney's things early in the morning right before the meeting.

But the next morning before the negotiations, disaster struck.

"The handcart toppled over. Two of the boxes burst open. Then he got hit by another huge gust, which blew papers all over the place. The rain was washing them into the sewer. Our guy tried to pick them out, but they were a mess. And some of them were handwritten. The guy who was getting the delivery went crazy."

Brodsky recaps how he thought of canceling the meeting, but the client would just scream on the phone at him. He accepted that the account was lost. Resolved to go through the motions of the inevitable, he went to keep his appoint with his client, Ray.

We sat and talked for a while. "Your service has really gotten better," Ray said. "I'm glad to hear you think so," I said. He thinks the service is better! Wait until he hears what happened this morning. I'm dead. Ray ran through some business issues. I listened and responded. He asked me if there was anything else I wanted to discuss. The moment had arrived. "Well, uh, I need to tell you about something that happened this morning. I guess you haven't heard." He began to laugh. "You mean the thing on 57th Street?" he said. "The papers all over the street and in the gutter? Funniest story I ever heard." Now I was thinking he'd lost his mind. "Yeah," I said. "I'm glad you're not upset." "Upset? It was great! I hate that guy. He was an attorney here, and he got fired yesterday. Biggest jerk you ever met." "Oh. OK," I said. I was stunned. We finished up, and I headed back to my office. As I thought about what had happened, it dawned on me that there was a lesson here: You simply can't know what is in someone else's mind. Ever. - Inc Magazine

Brodsky says that this episode was a key revelation for him in negotiating: Never anticipate what the other side is thinking. Go into every negotiating situation with an open mind and listen to what the other party is saying.